Did someone say Super Bowl Party!?

With the Super Bowl only a week away, it's time for everyone to start plugging their ears and stop tuning in to ESPN for their "round the clock" Super Bowl coverage. We have plans to go to a party on Sunday for the game; something I personally don't like to do. However, as many of you know, I like a happy home, so we are going! Anyway, I was reading an article on Steve Czaban's website about Super Bowl parties, and I thought to myself, "Self, this is a sign. You need to show this." So, as much as I would love to take credit for this list, it is through the creativity of another that I have this. Without further adieu, here are the people most likely to come to YOUR Super Bowl party:

The Gambler: Sits there stone silent, rocking back and forth like Leo Mazzone. Spends inordinate amounts of time on cell phone during timeouts and halftime covering his mouth. Eventually erupts with either a loud “YES!” late (usually when the over hits) or a muttered string of expletives followed by a hasty exit without saying goodbye to anybody.
The Boozer: As soon as you said “free beer” he would have showed up to watch girls softball.
The Snoozer: Guy who can’t hold his liquor and BBQ and ends up slackjawed snoring by halftime.
The Jerry Markbre: Knows every rule in every situation and is always ready to let everyone know about it.
The Pete Morelli: Thinks he knows all the rules, but almost always misinterprets them.
The Bitter Fantasy Guy: Insists on recounting every trade his team made all year, before losing in the final.
The Chatty Kathy: Woman from work, who insists on yapping all game about office gossip.
The Coordinator: Guy who uses phrases like “Z-Whammy, Slot-Bingo” to pretend he knows the plays.
The Nostradamus: Fearlessly predicts every play before it happens. Eventually is right, and won’t shut up.
The Bitter Wife: Can’t understand why husband won’t leave when game is still going on in 4th quarter.
The Anti-Martha Stewart: Host with a paltry selection of food and snacks, but thinks its some great “spread.”
The Duece Staley: Guy who shamelessly drops a withering “deuce” in the bathroom.
The Scout: Single/divorced guy who spends way too much time in kitchen, working the ladies.
The Vocalist: Guy who shouts “ooh” and “ahhh” at even meaningless plays.
The Mel Kiper: Somehow claims to know at least a half dozen NFL or ex-NFL players personally.
The Bad Dad: Lets his son run around trashing the house, spilling food, and generally causing havoc.